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A “firm foothold” of our own family experience is a reminder of one way we derive our resilience which should never be assumed with the children we see.

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The children who find their way to us for help, children who have been hurt and mistreated by those they’ve had to rely on for care, children who—undiminished by their repeated failed efforts—still fight for what they need, only to bring more attention to the fight and less to what they really need, children who no longer trust—constantly hijacked by phantom threats and imagined rejection, children who are afraid of the world every day, complicated children who have long surpassed the capacity of their parent’s, teacher’s and therapist’s to fully understand them or to help them. These children need to be seen by us for the depth of their distress and the full extent of their ordeal, without minimizing, normalizing, denying, or needing to spare the feelings of those who have tried to help and failed, or those who have not tried as they should have.

Without blaming, accusing, or finding fault with anyone who has been involved, or anyone who is involved right now, we must have the courage and the honesty to face the truth behind the suffering that comes through the school door in the morning. We must truly and fully see these children—not the story that others have imposed on them—and we must convince them that they are fully seen, heard, felt, and understood, that we will endeavor to help them and that we are capable and unafraid and won’t look away.

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We know what the children are saying even when they are saying something else, and we know how they are feeling about it well before they recognize it themselves. We are the inventors of what to do when nobody knows what to do, and the doers of what must be done when no one else can do it or no one else wants to do it. We advocate for the kiddos who need us most at a time when their options are most limited. Sometimes we are the only ones who see what is possible, so we lead by example, with quiet strength, boundless creativity, and an unyielding determination. Drawing from deep reserves of our own resilience, we try again, and again, and again, to change the trajectory of life for each young student within the therapeutic classroom community.

You have some precious souls in your room, all trying to be somebody, all struggling with themselves and the world, trying to trust someone and believe in themselves, and with you as their teacher they are in the best possible hands. I appreciate what you do.

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First those three things.

1) I am most proud of the way that I have believed in people, invested in people and enabled so many others to do for themselves what I have been able to do for them. I am proud of my role as a mentor and a recognizer of talent, of my team building, and my focus on seeing the best and bringing out the best in others. I’ve worked hard to diminish my individual importance by cultivating the talent around me, nurturing the strengths inherent in others, and adding to abilities; thereby enabling others to understand and employ advanced therapeutic concepts and methods. As the centrality of my own importance decreased through these efforts, I gained tremendously in collective spirit across a vast network of independently thriving consultation teams. It is an incredibly elevating experience, witnessing the developing excellence of others and achieving one voice with so many on behalf of children in need of that voice.

2) I am also proud of the seminal creation of the Brain-Based Therapeutic Intervention Program for Children, which, for years, has provided the leading definition of “therapeutic classroom,” a more robust and a more efficacious alternative to the “behavior programs” from the 1970s, still widespread in most school districts today. The Brain-based therapeutic intervention program has helped schools stay years ahead of the child clinical field in methodology as well as in the depth of understanding of children’s behavioral health, especially children impacted by autism or by trauma.

3) So often, what I needed just didn’t exist, so I am also proud of the invention and creation of the New Frontiers therapeutic game, The Social Challenge Program, The Green Zone continuous feedback system, and Long Run (a therapeutic novel). I am also proud of the vast library of articles and intervention programs I created and made available on my own website. Thousands of people throughout the world utilize this free resource.

I am exceedingly proud of those three things, and much more, but well beyond all that, there is one aspect of my career that I appreciate above all else, and for that one thing I am the most fortunate person I know.

In my 30-year career as a consulting child psychologist I have had the privilege of vast opportunity—dozens of districts have entrusted me with some of their most challenging and perplexing cases—and throughout this journey I have had bestowed upon me extraordinary gifts in the multitude of talented people who have worked alongside me on consultation teams. My journey has been enriched beyond imagination by these incredible relationships, so many remarkable people, compassionate, creative, bright and insightful people, resilient, hard-working, child-focused people; people with unmatched diligence, people with a deep sense of purpose, and tremendous dedication to the well-being of children. These people inspired me in profound ways, to be intensely present, relentlessly compassionate and endlessly innovative. So, as much as I think that I saw the best and brought out the best in others, undoubtedly so many others have done the same for me.

I loved going to work—no matter what I had to face— because I got to be on the same team with these people, got to witness what they could create, got to be a part of their passion and their brilliance. These people, these dedicated, kind, caring, compassionate, warm-hearted people; they captured my heart and never let it go. They were my source of energy, my source of inspiration. This is why my career has been richly rewarding beyond anything I could have planned or ever imagined. For 30 years, that is what it has been like for me to go to work. I am eternally appreciative of the opportunity I’ve had to know these people, to work with these people, to travel with them—for a time—on the same path.

My relationships with these wonderful people and our unity of purpose as we achieved one voice on behalf of each child; that has been my greatest reward. I am what I am because of who we all are (Ubuntu, from South Africa) and for that I will be forever grateful. Much respect and deep appreciation.

Cue music: Israel Kamakawiwo’ole (“IZ”), Over The Rainbow.

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It is common, at the end of the school day, for the teacher to write a note home to parents of selected students to report on the students’ performance during the school day. These notes are narrative, anecdotal accounts. Please also see 2019 article Teacher Guidelines for Parent Feedback (transitioning to numerical rating system)

See also: Episode Data – a Rating Form • Intensity of Behavior • Student Performance During Distance Learning

The post Monitoring Student Engagement, Tolerance and Program Participation (BBTIPC) appeared first on Kevin Plummer, PhD.

Also see:
Coping During Corona 19
Preparing Yourself to Return to School
Reflection on the Pandemic  

The post Teachers of the Pandemic appeared first on Kevin Plummer, PhD.

Please also see:
Coping During Corona 19
Preparing Yourself to Return to School
Managing Pandemic Stress Toolkit
Teachers of the Pandemic

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May you be thoughtful, patient, generous and supportive.
May you inspire hope; may you always imagine the possibilities
And may you see each day as full of promise

May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be safe and secure
May you be free from suffering

May you see the best and bring out the best in each other
May you feel understood, listened to, respected and appreciated
May you feel valued, worthwhile and proud

May you be well
May you be peaceful
May you live with ease, and free from fear

May you be open, humble, trusting and forgiving
Kind, courageous, compassionate and strong
And may you be resilient in the face of adversity

May you experience joy and share laughter
May you feel the warmth of friendship
May you strive to be kind to yourself and each other

May you believe in each other, advocate for each other, embrace each other’s strengths, share each other’s struggles, pull each other up, lead the way, follow the other’s lead, and be willing to carry more than your share of the load whenever it becomes necessary

May you be well.

Save PDF: Compassion Meditation – May You Be

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An elder Cherokee Indian listened patiently while his grandson spoke about his own young life of hardship and misfortune; the unfairness and injustice he experiences, and how his anger and frustration are the reasons he has violent outbursts at school. The old Cherokee nodded slowly, poked at the fire, then told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people.

He said, “My son, inside us all, there is a fierce battle between two wolves. It is a terrible fight. One wolf is darkness and despair. . .anger, envy, jealousy and doubt. . .greed, arrogance, ego and superiority. . . this wolf is regret, resentment, self-pity and guilt. . . lies, false pride, cynicism and inferiority. . . .”

“The other wolf,” he continued, “is light and hope. . .joy, peace, love and generosity. . . compassion, understanding, empathy, and truth. . .this wolf is serenity, humility, kindness and gratitude. . . perseverance, resilience, patience and faith.

The same fight between two wolves is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win the battle?”

The elder Cherokee turned to his grandson and quietly replied, “The one. . . you feed the most.”

—a legend of unknown origin

PDF: Two Wolves Within

This version—Two Wolves Within— is a modification (Kevin Plummer, 2018) for clinical consultation purposes. The author of the original legend is not known, although a number of people have claimed credit, and the original parable has been altered numerous times.

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